As Gordon Neufeld has so aptly said, “separation is the most evocative of human experiences”.

The opposite --togetherness-- is our primary need as human beings.*

When we think about our children having separation anxiety we often think about separation to attend daycare, or preschool. Or adapting to a new babysitter.

And yet sleep is probably the hardest separation that we expect our children to endure each day.

Sleep is among the most vulnerable of separations we must adapt to.

Afterall, sleep is about letting go into unconsciousness.

Even if your child is not falling asleep alone in a dark room, "falling" into sleep takes a great deal of trust that one is safe and protected.

When my children were very little, I discovered Gordon Neufeld's work and his unique approach to attachment and separation. It answered so many of the questions I had about understanding my toddler's needs, and it helped reaffirm the decision I had made to be a responsive, attachment-focusesd parent.

These days I'm deeply emersed in Neufeld's work again as I take his 7 month Intensive I: Making Sense of Children. I'm excited to be taking it with a number of my sleep colleagues as we explore how to apply his work to the way we support the families we work with.

Many of the perspectives and strategies that I share with parents are from Gordon Neufeld's work: it forms the backbone of how I think, solve, and support sleep. In fact, the most popular posts I have written are about how to apply his work to sleep and to sleep challenges. If you're looking to explore this more, here is a start:

And if you want a more immersive experience yourself, enroll in the Baby Sleep Course, where we explore how sleep works, and how to support it —with development and attachment in mind.

In the meantime, I wish you sweet dreams and a restful night. Your baby will get there little by little.

* Gordon Neufeld, Getting Sleep Right, YouTube video. Available at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y9ra898uoVM&t=377s. (April 2021).

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PPS: If support, to you, means connecting online in a group for information and perspectives, my free workshops may be a great place to start.. If tailored support is best for your family, my bespoke one-on-one work may be what helps you through. Not sure? Book a call to chat about what support would look like for your family.